Why not writing letters is hurting your relationship

Hello Everyone,

Last week I talked about the long distance relationship that Avery and I have (post here). I wanted to discuss some of the ways we overcame the distance challenge. When it comes to LDRs or just relationships in general if you’re not writing letters and notes to your loved ones you’re missing out. Think about the last time you actually received something sweet in the mail or on your desk. The fact that someone took the time to send anything at all is flattering, but when it is evident that it took a little more time and thought to put it together, it becomes so much more meaningful and fun.

It doesn’t really take a lot to get started and you can get really creative with it. Avery and I started by sending weekly or biweekly letters just chatting about our weeks and saying how we missed each other. We would talk about anything under the sun. One day though the games began. Avery started it all by sending me drawings. Let me share with you a little secret… he can’t draw to save his life. I died laughing when he drew me a picture of a pie (an ongoing joke and a story for another day). He even sent me an adorable child like drawing of a house and two stick figures of us with a puppy. It probably seems mean that I laughed, but it was so him and I was so happy that I put them up all over my walls. My friends would wander in and ask what the heck that was about and it cheered me up to tell stories.

Every time he would send me something new, I sent him something different too! My letters started coming with little origami stars that when he unrolled them had a little motivational quote or I love you on it. When he sent postcards, I would send open when… letters. I nearly died from laughter when I got a card that said “thinking of you” just to open it and see it said naked. It was all about making each other smile and sharing the love.

To this day I have my favorite pictures and letters in a special little box that I can look at every time I miss him. Some of them are three years old and yet I still have them. We haven’t sent letters so much any more because we are not as far apart, but that habit has translated into new things for us. I created a little notebook with memories and photos as a gift for him. We leave little notes and gifts for each other (yes, Avery the soft pretzels count as my present to you every time I make them). Writing letters built a foundation in our relationship that I value deeply. It taught us to make time for each other, to care for each other, and to find joy in the littlest of things. If you’re not writing letters to your significant other, even if you live together, you’re missing out on the opportunity do something really special together.

So, what is your favorite thing to send to your significant other?

  • Naomi

Long Distance Relationships

Hello everyone! Hello!

Avery and I have been dating since 2013. As our relationship has developed, we haven’t always been physically together. Today, I wanted to talk about the challenges of long distance relationships (LDRs). If you want to learn a bit more about our history together check our introduction post here! Actually wouldn’t that be there?

Our first year in college we pursued our own dreams in the way we thought best. Against my better judgement.  That meant not holding each other back and we attended colleges over 13 hours apart. Avery and I had to spend several months apart with no visits. It was the hardest part of our relationship. Even now that he has returned to our hometown we are still 2 hours apart. While that is a significantly closer distance it still has it struggles.

Avery and I were both military brats. We were used to some of our loved ones being away for long periods of time, but we never had to keep a romantic one alive (shoutout to the military couples for making it work). When you’re hundreds of miles apart or more, how do you keep the love alive? At first we didn’t have too many issues. We were so busy meeting new people, exploring new avenues, and every night we would go home and tell each other about it. Our struggles began when the novelty wore off. The first fights were resolved with some skype calls, just feeling like the other person was there.

The longer we were apart the harder it got. We just needed to feel equally invested. Everything from texts, to calls, to writing letters, and little homemade gifts certainly helped. Eventually time was taking its toll. Avery and I would fight more and more often and it wasn’t our normal bickering. Looking back it wasn’t so much we were angry at each other; we were furious at our situation that seemed rather helpless. My jerkface aka the love of my life, Avery, even tried to break us up on an occasion or two. For us it was all about overcoming feeling distant.In my defense I am an A-hole, and I was way too involved and stressed.

We started planning skype dates something we still try to do. If one of us had to cancel we always rescheduled for that week. I discovered the beauty of pinterest and all of its resources for long distance relationships and use them like crazy. When we knew we would see each other we would plan dates and try to make every moment count. Even now that we see each other much more often it has become part of our foundation for a successful relationship.

So why share all of this with you? A few reasons:

  1. There are plenty of people who go through long distance relationships these days. It was always nice to find someone who could relate.

  2. If you’re going through a rough patch, to remind individuals that those times are a learning experience that happens to everyone.

  3. To announce a new blog series! This is something I am beyond ecstatic to create. I want to share ideas and tips on how to better strengthen and reconnect with your significant other!


How many of you are in a LDR? Do you do anything special for them?

-Naomi

Avery

 

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