As most of you know Avery and I are engaged! We are very excited to be planning our wedding, but have already encountered some issues. Avery and I are having a bit over a 2 year engagement. For us, this was the perfect way to let me finish up college and also to have a stress free wedding planning.
Stress free was not how it started at all. I am probably one of the most chill people you will ever meet when it comes to event planning. While I know what I want and what I like, I’m not the type to throw hissy-fits and tantrums if things don’t go exactly as planned. So, I’m writing this for all you future brides who are in my situation: Where everyone seems to have the panic-filled wedding fever… but you. My family and friends are amazing, phenomenal people who just want to help. Unfortunately they get a little overwhelmed too easily. Here is my step-by-step guide to surviving the chaos and maintaining the peace.
- Set down some ground rules: This is huge and can be really intimidating. You really need to tell everyone in your life to chill the fuck out and get the troops organized. Tell them exactly how you are feeling (stressed because of them) and that you want them to stop everything and listen to what you need from them. Whether that is to not spend money on this or to stop taking control of your wedding, take this one moment to have them take a step back.
- Create a Timeline: My number one problem is that everyone thinks I’m putting everything off until the last minute. This is where your timeline really comes in handy. Not only do you probably already have one, but it shows them that you have your crap together. For me, my timeline is fairly spaced out and I have a bunch of things already checked off. Simply sharing this information makes a lot of loved ones realize that you do in fact have your shit together.
- Assign Roles: This may seem like overkill, but this is one of my strengths. I gave everyone who was overly-excited a project to do for me. It let me turn their chaotic energy into something productive. For my best friend and bridesmaid who is great with Pinterest, I gave her a theme and a board and said “Go Crazy!”. My mom who seemed to be exceedingly concerned that I was putting everything off? I gave her the task of researching venues. She is great at pro and con lists and within a few weeks of looking we found exactly what we wanted. Now any projects that come up with research go straight to her. This way I’m less stressed, everyone else feels involved, and the wedding keeps moving forward.
The Pinterest Board just for my pin-happy friends.
- Remember that they love you: So, most importantly, if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed in the center of attention, your loved ones are doing this because they care about you and your happiness. They want to see this whole event go off without a hitch as much as you. If your mom really wants to go dressing shopping as soon as possible, maybe go browse with her sooner than you planned. While this is your wedding, remember to cherish the important moments and don’t start fights just because they are putting too much on you. Take a step back, a deep breathe, talk to them, and then give them a hug.
What is your number one tip for stress-free wedding planning?
Hello everyone! Hello!
Avery and I have been dating since 2013. As our relationship has developed, we haven’t always been physically together. Today, I wanted to talk about the challenges of long distance relationships (LDRs). If you want to learn a bit more about our history together check our introduction post here! Actually wouldn’t that be there?
Our first year in college we pursued our own dreams in the way we thought best. Against my better judgement. That meant not holding each other back and we attended colleges over 13 hours apart. Avery and I had to spend several months apart with no visits. It was the hardest part of our relationship. Even now that he has returned to our hometown we are still 2 hours apart. While that is a significantly closer distance it still has it struggles.
Avery and I were both military brats. We were used to some of our loved ones being away for long periods of time, but we never had to keep a romantic one alive (shoutout to the military couples for making it work). When you’re hundreds of miles apart or more, how do you keep the love alive? At first we didn’t have too many issues. We were so busy meeting new people, exploring new avenues, and every night we would go home and tell each other about it. Our struggles began when the novelty wore off. The first fights were resolved with some skype calls, just feeling like the other person was there.
The longer we were apart the harder it got. We just needed to feel equally invested. Everything from texts, to calls, to writing letters, and little homemade gifts certainly helped. Eventually time was taking its toll. Avery and I would fight more and more often and it wasn’t our normal bickering. Looking back it wasn’t so much we were angry at each other; we were furious at our situation that seemed rather helpless. My jerkface aka the love of my life, Avery, even tried to break us up on an occasion or two. For us it was all about overcoming feeling distant.In my defense I am an A-hole, and I was way too involved and stressed.
We started planning skype dates something we still try to do. If one of us had to cancel we always rescheduled for that week. I discovered the beauty of pinterest and all of its resources for long distance relationships and use them like crazy. When we knew we would see each other we would plan dates and try to make every moment count. Even now that we see each other much more often it has become part of our foundation for a successful relationship.
So why share all of this with you? A few reasons:
There are plenty of people who go through long distance relationships these days. It was always nice to find someone who could relate.
If you’re going through a rough patch, to remind individuals that those times are a learning experience that happens to everyone.
To announce a new blog series! This is something I am beyond ecstatic to create. I want to share ideas and tips on how to better strengthen and reconnect with your significant other!
How many of you are in a LDR? Do you do anything special for them?
Is that a real Tardis? The world may never know.
Oh how does one ever introduce themselves? Hello! My name is Naomi and my wonderful, loving fiancé is Avery (that is a matter of opinion). We just so happen to have started dating in High school and he hasn’t been able to get rid of me yet (please someone help me!). We both come from military families and grew up traveling around the United States. Our dads retired and what would you know, they were high school friends. We both inevitably ended up in our little tiny home-village (is that a real word? Oh well) and met when we were 8
He claims the first time we met I kicked a soccer ball at his head. It’s true. I just wanted to practice my drop kick! Ah love at first sight (she tried to kill me.. I still hold that the brain damage I received is how I was unable to escape her in time…), well not really. We grew up fighting and bickering every time we saw each other. We both ended up in high school band(The same one can you believe it!). He was a percussionist (Drumline, thank you very much) and I played the clarinet and did color guard (Yawn). This bratty freshmen named Creepy Kevin tried to hit on me and Avery helped me out of a hard spot. My best friend thought this would be the perfect time to screw with me and gave him my number. We have been talking ever since (Much to my chagrin).
A few months later in January we started dating for the first time. We broke up by march because Avery really didn’t want to go to his senior Prom(Stand by that, and still don’t. [Hey at least he made it to my senior prom]). He is a bit of a dick(yep). To be fair, I’m not much better. We had got back together for a few weeks and I broke up with him on his Graduation(In a text I might add). I’m really sweet. We had a hard time keeping apart (no restraining order can hold her) and ended up trying the friends thing. That lasted until October when he started showing up at my house without fail every Friday night to take me out on a date.
Avery and I Prom 2014
We got back together on November 15th 2013 and have been dating ever since (what was I thinking look at that date…. All my hunters know me now for thy name is fool). In August of 2016 he asked me to marry him. How could a girl resist (say “no”… duh)? That is the really, really, abbreviated story of our relationship. Cute right?
- Avery (aw, why don’t I get top billing my comments are what made this post).
Well it is my blog 😉
We really look forward to getting to know you and hoped you enjoyed getting to know a little bit about us. We would love for everyone to introduce themselves to us too!